But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
