u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize