I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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