96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
