So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
