White coat. Heels.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Boobs are out for the taking
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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