They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
