Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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