once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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