Porn is love you can see.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
