Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
