im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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