Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
