you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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