talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
