Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
