I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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