It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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