do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
