But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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