Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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