Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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