I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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