so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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