The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
