I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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