did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize