Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
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if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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