Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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