Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
