I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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