pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
