he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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