lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
