I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
