Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
