U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
3 2 1 whiskey
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
