his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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