my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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