You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
