Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
