he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
