Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
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why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
love makes seman taste better
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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