I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
