He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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