What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
