Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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