She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
