the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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