The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
