I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
