Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
