You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
