He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
