and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
