none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
