3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
