i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
