My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
