ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
