I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
